Our newest(and most badass) collection is almost here! We have finally chosen a release date... which will be on April 2nd at 2pm PST~ or 1:30pm for our newsletter subscribers. Our mailing list always gets early access to all our sales, collection releases and any other promotions we have going on. Be sure to sign up if you want to stay in the know and get VIP access. You can sign up at the bottom of any page on our site.
The castaway collection will be the very last collection we launch before the birth of our third child~ who is due in 8 weeks! Most of me preparing for my daughters arrival is prepping Lux Divine for my absence during our busiest time of the year! I love that I can apply the natural nesting that comes during the third trimester to organizing my business. Thank goodness I've had great energy this pregnancy, I wasn't so lucky with the last one! I still have hyperemesis gravidarum, severe morning sickness that must be treated with medication, but Im hanging on! But on the plus side, my daughter's energy is incredible! I have never felt so inspired and I attribute it to her creativity & strength. I feel more connected and in sync with her than I did with my two boys which is an incredible feeling. Maybe it's because she is a fellow gemini( due date is on my birthday!), or maybe I feel something deeper because she is my first girl. Im not sure what's going on, all I know is that this little girl is fueling my passionate fire for Lux Divine and I couldn't be more grateful for her creative presence. I channeled this energy into our Summer collection...and I really feel it's our best yet! Thanks little babe for the motivation:)
I sent off our Summer collection with two creative genius ladies that traveled to the Bahamas to shoot our lookbook....and I couldn't be more thrilled! Jamie did the styling as well as her own hair and makeup while Champagne did the shooting. These two babes work so well together and seem to feed off one another's creative juices. I gave them a castaway/shipwrecked theme and am blown away by the results! The lighting, outfits and Jamie's gorgeous face were all on point!...don't you think?!!!
Don't miss out on our newest designs that launch this weekend!!! Set your alarms babes.... there are many amazing one of a kinds in this collection that I wouldn't want you to miss out on! I can't tell you how many times I get messages after a collection launch requesting our one off pieces to be recreated... I won't be remaking any of the one of a kind designs...so If you want something you see in these amazing photos, be at the launch on time! As always, thank you for your continued support of our small handmade brand!!! Now... check out this amazing photography!!
C A S T A W A Y L O O K B O O K
Shot by Champagne Victoria @champagneunicorns
Modeled by Jamie Kidd @jamienkidd
Clothing: Jasmyn Eliza Designs @jasmynelizadesigns
Our new boots have arrived!!! Its been about over a year since our last boot release...mostly due to all these babies Ive been cooking! But, I really wanted to get a big batch done before baby arrives in 2.5 months. I get so many emails every week about our boots with customers asking when they will be available.... but our old style left me a little bored so it was difficult to get motivated to spend the 6 plus hours on each pair. I needed to bring life back into our upcycled boots so I decided to redesign them. I love the way to new ones turned out! I will still be making the ones with feathers...but Im loving our new style so much more!!! What do you think???
This new style features more vintage fabrics..which means more upcycling and repurposing. We only use vintage or preowned moccasin boots and scrap leather that would otherwise be trashed in a landfill somewhere. We try to live as eco-friendly as we possible can and repurposing old into something new is about as green as you can get.
We hope you love our new styles as much as we do! We have released about half of our big batch of over 30 boots...so we will be adding more in the next few weeks!!! If you missed out on your favorite pair, don't fret....more are coming soon!
This past year I've decided to make collections for all the holidays we have never done...to mix things up! Last year our biggest collection was a Halloween collection. This year we went all out for Valentine's Day & I am pretty pleased with the end result. This new collection is so girly with a ton of pinks & purples.... We added new styles of dainty chokers which we think our customers will love. Our current best seller is our Crescent moon choker. We listened to our customers and designed more dainty jewelry for you to layer....and more Rose Gold which has been a hit!
I first want to thank you all for the support I received with my last blog post of my son's birth story. I really didn't think it would get as many hits as it did...Im shocked...and slight intimidated! Not only that, but so many of you reached out to me with support and love that I will never forget! I cried at every DM, email, comment! You have reminded me how kind people can really be and how much love we are capable of showing one another....a complete stranger! What a world we would live in if we showed our fellow human love, compassion & empathy on a daily basis! Thats the world I want to live in....and you guys showed me a glimpse of that Utopia! Thank you....really!
With this new year, we are adding new segments to our blog! We will be doing a new handmade artist spotlight each month sharing with you our favorite handmade brands! Supporting local businesses is so so important. Im so sick and tired of cheap clothing that will not last and was probably made by some child in India or China and/or in unfair working conditions. Im not perfect, I sometimes am guilty of shopping for my kids at Gap or Target...but I usually, actually ALWAYS regret it. The clothing does not last and I hate that I have no idea where it came from or more importantly WHO made it! These issues are real whether we wish to see it or not. Fast fashion is a growing problem... this includes fast jewelry! All the electroformed jewelry coming out of China is a huge problem too! Each item we purchase is a vote towards the world we shape. Its our job as the next generations to set an example.
I wanted to feature Bohemian Soul Creations for a few reasons. First, the clothing is just too freaking cute! I love upcycled clothing. Making something old into something new is so beautiful to me!... not only that, but upcycling or buying vintage is the greenest way to buy clothing! Even buying organic is not as earth friendly as using what is already here! Not only are these clothing eco-friendly, but they are comfortable too. I've purchased "bohemian" upcycled baby clothing before only to be disappointed at the texture of the garments. I hate sacrificing comfort for style! Amber uses the cutest upcycled fabric, but also makes sure its soft and even goes the extra step to line the clothing in soft eco friendly and skin friendly fabrics. My son suffers from intense eczema and this clothing doesn't bother his sensitive skin one bit! He can go from the park to a nap comfortably without having to be changed because her clothing can be used as sleep attire...its just that soft!
Secondly, I love supporting other entrepreneurial moms! Amber is a young Mama of one darling babe and works out of her home just like me! This is so close to my heart as it was always a dream of mine to be able to craft from home while being with my littles. I feel so much better putting my money towards something I love that will last while also supporting another American family. Her clothing is well made and definitely heirloom material.
My little babe all decked out in Bohemian Soul Creations!
To shop Amber's amazing homemade creations:
Until next time,
This post goes out to all the women warriors battling infertility, pregnancy loss, child loss as well as anyone who wants to be a mother that hasn't been blessed... just yet.
Ive been working on this blog post for quite some time... every time I sit down to write it I become instantly overwhelmed. My birth experience was tramatic that left me with a shitty case of PTSD. Its taken me a year to get the courage to hit 'publish' and leave my heart raw and exposed for the world to view. Im a pretty private person when it comes to the social cyber world...but I think sharing more of who I am tells a better story of where my jewelry comes from. A lot of great art comes from a place of pain and sadness and I would like to say my last two collections are proof of that.
I can’t even believe my second son’s first birthday is here! Today! I feel as if I just gave birth to him a month ago! The speed at which time travels post baby is incredible isn’t it? Koa is my little firecracker. He is intense, courageous and moves at the speed of light. Bringing him into the world wasn’t much different. It was hard….the hardest thing Ive ever done! One thing that really helped me get through my own losses was reading other women's stories and how they braved through their own fertility battles. Women warriors that even through all the heartache, still pressed on hopeful, positive and brave in the land of baby loss. I didn't feel brave...not once in all my fertility struggles. I felt completely raw and broken. This has been some of the toughest, darkest times in my whole life and I honestly can't even believe Im here to type this at all. I nearly didn’t make it with my last delivery...but we will get to that later.
Almost 9 years ago, I gave birth to my first son, the light of my life, Halen (pronounced like Van Halen:) I had him naturally but my hospital experience was not ideal. They forced formula on me, kept wanting to take him to the nursery and made me feel like an idiot for my preferences of keeping the baby with me and nursing exclusively. But all in all, we both were safe, happy and healthy. The moment I saw him, the pain didn't matter. I was so in love. Halen gave my life meaning, a bigger purpose. I will always be grateful to him for that. He made me a mother, the most important job of all. The relationship with his father didn't work out but we have found a place where we can peacefully co-parent. Not long after, I met my husband, got married and he joined me at Lux Divine! We decided to wait until Halen was 3 before we would try to have a baby together. We never could have imagined the journey that lay ahead of us. We didn't think there would be any issue. After all, we both had children from previous relationships and they all were healthy. I did have an ectopic pregnancy with two embryos(twins) that was life threatening in 2005. To save my life, the embryos had to be taken out. It really sucked but I was young and got over it pretty quickly. My Ectopic pregnancy was so so rare, I didn't think anything like that could ever happen again.
We decided not to worry about it and relax...it would happen right? It took us a little time to get pregnant but we did..and we were so excited! Now that I look back I can see how absolutely naive I was. I expected everything to be perfect. As we prepared to leave our house for our first appointment I remember how relaxed I felt. Nothing would be wrong, our baby would be fine. We were so excited to finally see the little miracle that was making me so sick. I get really bad morning sickness...but it was a small price to pay for a baby. I will never forget that day and all the stupid little details. Funny how we remember certain days that hold pain in our heart so accurately, every little detail...but we can't remember what we ate for breakfast...
We went in for our first sonogram at 8 weeks. I will also never forget the doctor’s face when she looked at the screen. She flipped the screen around to me...pointed to a roundish looking gray spot and said
“This is your uterus and here is the sac, but nothing is inside it".
"What do you mean nothing is inside it?"
"This pregnancy won't result in a baby...but the good news is you've had a baby before and you CAN get pregnant. This is so common. Just try again in a few months".
My body wouldn't release the pregnancy so I had to have a D&C to remove what could have been. They tested some of the tissue but the test was inconclusive. Most women have at least one miscarriage during their childbearing years... its to be expected. One in four pregnancies results in miscarriage and 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. Thats a lot!
We left the sonogram room. I tried to keep it together long enough to make it to the car but it was too late. The tears were coming despite fighting them with all my might. I threw my body in my husbands arms in the elevator and cried...harder than I ever had. I was quite shocked at how upset I was. Im one tough cookie and it takes a lot to shake me...this did....to the core. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. Each breath was painful to take. My heart had never felt broken like that before. We made it through that difficult day and after several months I began to heal. I found hope again...next time, next time it would happen. This couldn't possibly happen again. Even though it was so sad to us, my husband and I became closer as we mourned and healed together. Unfortunately that wouldn’t be the last time we miscarried.
Over the course of two years we kept having reoccurring miscarriages and the doctor had no answers as to why. I was tired of seeing the face she would give me when she would see a blank screen. It was a face of pity and I hate those....and this journey became full of them. Confused as to why we had so many issues, she referred us to a fertility specialist for some testing and really, our journey began.
We spent the next year doing all sorts of testing, some invasive and not all that pleasant. But we couldn't give up now. The failure was fueling our fire. We first tried hormones to help me get pregnant… We did that for 6 months with no luck. It was stressful and our love life quickly became about ovulation cycles, tracking, hormones, etc. Not so sexy!
With all the lack of luck I should say. We made the tough decision to jump into IVF(Invitro fertilization) vs. IUI(Intrauterine insemination). The odds of IUI working for us weren’t great and we didn't want to waste money on something that didn't have great odds for us. I'm not sure just how many cycles we began and had to cancel due to my increasingly rebellious uterus and hormones imbalance. The doctor tried all sorts of combination of hormones which took months! But We finally got it right, made it to the egg retrieval( ouch!), and did genetic testing on our fertilized eggs. We had 12 eggs to start out. After fertilization 9 made it to day 3 and out of the 9 only TWO were viable. It sort of explained our problems...we just don't match up well even though they couldn't find anything wrong with either of us or our chromosomes. We put those two(boys) babies on ice to give my body a chance to detox and heal... and oh man did I need healing.
IVF was honestly the hardest things I have ever done in my life. The amount of medications I was on was just plain insane. I hated putting synthetic hormones and chemicals in my body. They made me feel terrible and overly toxic. I didn’t feel myself. With each canceled cycle, I became more depressed, more isolated and felt completely alone. My relationships suffered because I had changed. My life had been consumed with everything fertility. I resented all the pregnant women around me at the time and all of a sudden it seemed like everyone was having babies but me! I felt guilty to complain since I had Halen. Some women don't have any children...I am a mom already. None of that helped how I was feeling. I bottled up all my feelings in a pretty little box and shoved it into the deepest part of my heart. I could hold it there for a little while at least. The emotional aspect of this journey was absolutely exhausting. I had reached my breaking point and any strength I had left in me was completely depleted.... I snapped...
One night my husband came home from work to find me curled up on the floor in tears...it had all come unraveled. I was hysterical. All my bottled up feelings burst out of me like a broken river dam. I couldn't stop crying. I had no hope left. I was defeated and done with the whole process. I felt guilty for wasting years of my child’s life focusing on having another baby. Whenever I am sad or upset my husband always tries to "fix" it. I think all men do that...but sometimes guys, we just need to be sad. Instead of trying to make me peel myself off the floor and "think of all the good things we have" like I was accustomed to hearing, he joined me. Sat on the floor next to me. Held me... and said "Im so sorry your in pain. Im here and I love you. We can cry on the floor for however long you want to, we have nowhere to be". I don't think I have ever been more in love with my husband. It was exactly what I needed. Someone to just let me feel and feel with me. Someone to allow me to be broken and hold my pieces together. I will forever be thankful for my husband " joining" me that night. My heart healed some that evening and the next morning I found my lost hope and we pressed on... hand in hand, more united than ever before.
We finally got the courage to do the embryo transfer in April 2015, 5 years after we first started trying to get pregnant. I was convinced it wouldn't work. We arrived at the fertility center for the transfer and I was handed a Valium to relax. You have to be completely still during the embryo transfer and it did really help! We went into the very tiny room that looked just like any other sonogram room in a OB's office. My husband got shoved into the corner and we held hands. We laughed as we made fun of how high I was and all the stupid things that exited my mouth. I tend to be very inappropriate when Im nervous...actually, thats kinda me all the time. My husband was positive and hopeful. My doctor walked in with her nurse and the Embryologist. He told us that during the de-thawing, the first embryo didn't make it and we only had the one left... Ron was pretty devastated. For some reason it didn't bother me in the least. At least we have the one. One is all you need. But I was still so convinced this wouldn't work and was already planning my next IVF cycle in my head. Now that I look back, I think I was just protecting myself and preparing for another loss. How could it possibly work our first completed cycle?
Weeks later, I went in for my pregnancy blood test. I only had to wait 4-5 hours for my results but that time dragged on and felt like an eternity! When my Dr. finally called, I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I was pregnant and my beta numbers were off the charts! We did it!!!
She said my numbers looked strong and we would keep testing my betas to see if they were at least doubling. And they were! My betas were high and strong and continued to grow! I kept myself and my heart guarded and expected the worst my whole first trimester. I couldn't possibly take another loss. I would die, I was sure.
We surprisingly made it to our 12 week sonogram and our "graduation day" from my fertility doctor. It was time to begin my prenatal care with a regular OB. It was bittersweet. I decided to choose a new OB instead of going back to my first OBGYN who handled my miscarriages. I felt going back to a place I had so many losses was bad juju somehow. I also didn't know If i could go back into her office without it bringing up feelings of grief. I surly didn't want to cry at every appointment and something about her office always made me loose my shit. But I just about had a nervous breakdown before every appointment anyways. I had more sonograms than a typical non high risk pregnancy so I was an emotional mess most of the time. My morning sickness was intense and it lasted throughout my whole pregnancy. Throwing up became the norm. It was so debilitating that I had to take a break from Lux Divine almost my entire pregnancy. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself. Creating and being an artist is who I am and I wasn't exactly feeling like me during this time.
My pregnancy dragged on slowly as I continued to see this new dr(who totally sucked btw) up until 30 weeks. My delivery was approaching and I just couldn't imagine this lady I felt so disconnected to delivering my baby. So back I went to my first Dr. The BEST decision I have EVER made was going back to her. This decision probably saved my life.
I walked back into Dr. Hyman's office( yes I know, Dr. Hyman...too appropriate for an OB:). She was surprised and happy to see me...pregnant too! I started crying the moment I saw her. She sat me down and said "we got this, your 30 weeks... now lets just focus on your delivery. Your almost there".
We decided to to a scheduled c-section since my son's size was bigger than my hips would allow and I had placenta Previa. Thank the Lord! My first son almost didn't fit and he was only 9lbs and this one was 10! I was so nervous for the cesarean. We were now days away and my stomach was in knots. I was busy getting everything ready, food prepping, washing baby clothes for the 20th time and making sure to prepare Halen too. We didn't make it to that planned C-section day. Of course not...
Two mornings before the big day, I woke up at 4am to use the bathroom (like I did every hour on the hour) and to my surprise, I was bleeding… a lot. We woke up Halen and headed to the hospital. We didn't say much of anything for most of the ride. I was trying to remain strong and didn't want Halen to see the tears streaming down my face. I was a mess inside. We didn't make it I thought. We called my doctor and she met us at the hospital. We arrived and the baby was checked immediately. They found a heartbeat on the doppler but he was stressed. The weeks leading up the the birth were very painful. I was constantly having very intense contractions but did not progress to a regular pattern. My doctors kept telling me this was normal and to call if they became regular. It was nothing like my pregnancy and labor with Halen. I was expecting it to feel the same…but it didn’t! I had no idea I had been laboring this whole time! My contractions had been painful but irregular for at least a week by this time. We later found out that this completely exhausted my uterus and a vaginal delivery would have been extremely dangerous. The nurse checked me and I was 5cm dilated. My doctor came in a said " you can try to go natural if you want...I have to give you that option, but I wouldn’t advise it“…I said "no way" and into the OR we went. I wasn't about to risk anything now.
The OR room was cold and so very bright. I didn't expect it to feel so sterile. I immediately starting shivering. My main nurse prepped me and asked me to sit on the operating table. I was shaking. I couldn't stop. My nerves were out of control. She prepared me for the spinal and told me to give her a big hug so I didn't move. I looked in her eyes as the tears pooled in mine. She asked me If I was okay and ready. I was trembling... from both the freezing cold and my nerves.
"Im... really scared" I said.
"I know hunny" she reassured me.
…and in the needle went. I have no problem with needles so the spinal was easy for me. My husband wasn't let into the room until I was all ready. The anesthesiologist gave me something to calm my nerves. I was so paranoid I would feel it and kept voicing my fears. They put up a screen so I couldn't see anything and then my husband and doctors came in. There were so many people in the room. Two doctors, two anesthesiologist, two nurses for me, 4 nurses for the baby and a pediatric doctor. Whoa... Talk about overwhelming!
Dr. Hyman asked me if I was ready to go.
I said "No, I think I can still feel everything"
...even though my whole lower body was completely numb and I couldn't feel my legs...but somehow I was convinced I would be that one person who could feel it. So silly. My husband sat down next to me, kissed my head and held my hand. "Were gonna meet our son in a few minuets" but I was not thinking about that. I should have been but I was too fearful in that moment.
All of a sudden I smelled something burning.
"Hey, who's making popcorn in here?...oh shit, you started huh? Thats my skin burning huh? Gross!"...
"Jessica, your gonna feel a big tug"
umm...that was an understatement! The most intense pressure Ive ever felt and...
"Happy birthday big boy!".
Just like that, I had a son. A beautiful, strong 10 lb 4 oz boy! They held him up so Ron could see him. I didn't for a reason I will never know..or maybe I did see him but was too high to notice. I have no idea. The moment he cried, I felt relief for the first time in 5 years.
"Are you ready to meet your son?".
My son? Ive been waiting 5 years to meet you...and your finally here!!
They swaddled him up and placed him right on my chest. My heart exploded in a million pieces and was then reborn all in a few moments. What I can only describe as an intense wave of love that drowned my whole being.
We had spent so long trying to bring a baby into our family and in one quick moment, our infertility battle had been conquered and we had a beautiful baby boy. We fought really hard for him. For years I have felt his spirit. Something deep inside was the driving force and instinctually I couldn't have been more correct. He was MEANT to be ours...he just wasn't ready yet. This blessing was well worth the wait! I was in a world of newborn baby bliss and nothing else mattered.
Recovering from a c-section wasn’t exactly a cake walk but I had a pretty easy time. I was up and out of bed pretty quickly and nursing like a champ. I had already gone through so much pain...this was easy in comparison. My egg retrieval was more painful to me. The doctor let me leave the hospital after two days because I was healing so quickly. Yay... we left the hospital with our new little miracle to live our dream life. Pure bliss....
During my whole first week I kept saying how i didn't understand why people kept saying c sections are hard and the recovery is painful. I wasn’t feeling that at all. I think the years of fertility treatments built up my pain tolerance. Sure, I felt broken but I was okay. Made my family meals, went up and down my stairs multiple times a day and was not bed ridden.
About 5 days after my hospital release...one week after my delivery I had literally just said "c sections are great!, this is so easy!” I began to prepare a sandwich for my husband when I suddenly felt a gush between my legs. I honestly thought they broke my bladder in my c section and I was peeing! Looking back it's pretty funny that that was my first thought… I rushed myself to the bathroom and discovered that no, I wasn’t peeing myself, it was blood. Postpartum bleeding is normal and to be expected but nothing about this was normal. For a moment I thought it wasn’t a big deal. It will stop soon I thought. But it didn’t. I then started passing clots as big as golf balls...then tennis balls ...then grapefruit sized. I couldn't believe my eyes nor had I ever seen this amount of blood in person. I felt like I was in an episode of Dexter. It was coming out so quickly, like a faucet. I tried to clean myself up enough to reach my husband across the house. I was screaming for him but he couldn't hear me. We had some construction going on in our house that day and one of the workers heard me screaming and grabbed him. When he found me, the whole floor was covered in a pile of my blood and it was only getting bigger...quickly. "Should we call an ambulance?" ..." I don't think I can make it to the hospital on our own” I said. In that moment I wasn’t so concerned with my life, it hadn't clicked yet. The only thing I could think to do was to clean up the blood. I was so focused on scrubbing the grout! It was a brand new bathroom and that’s all I could think about. My white grout! Funny...Its crazy the way we react sometimes in an emergency situation.
The ambulance came pretty quickly. I had cleaned up a lot of the blood, flushed the clots and laid on a towel so gravity wouldn’t work against me…so the EMTs were not able to see really how serious this hemmorage was just yet. They put me in the ambulance and told my husband " just meet us at the hospital, we won't be putting on the sirens or be speeding. This isn't life threatening and she will be okay."...right buddy.
I kissed my husband goodby which I thought moments later in the ambulance ride might be my last time. The EMT kept asking me questions(lame ones I might add) and telling me to look him in the eyes. He was shinning his flashlight at me when I told him that I think more blood came out. He lifted the sheet and a bunch of blood clots gushed out. Our eyes both grew 10 times as we both couldn’t believe what we saw. He shouted a code to the driver and suddenly we were speeding with the sirens on. So much for going slow, right? I could hear the blood dripping off the gurney onto the floor of the ambulance. The EMT’s eyes got really big and looked absolutely shocked. You and me both buddy...
That ride was the longest 15 minuets of my life. I kept picturing my husband, left with my two babies to care for. I wanted to keep their faces in my head so it would be the last thing I would think of before I died. It suddenly clicked that this might be it. There was no way anyone could survive this amount of blood loss I was thinking. The ride may have gone by slow but the moment we arrived to the hospital, everything sped up pretty quickly.
They pushed me thought the ER doors and I kid you not, about 15-20 nurses and doctors were there waiting for me in the hallway. It was something out of Grey's Anatomy! They rushed me down the hall to a small room. Everyone yelling medical mumbo jumbo to one another. Nurses came at me left and right trying to get in as many IV lines as they could into my quickly collapsing veins. Out of the 8 they tried...only two stuck, and only one barely useable. I felt horrible almost immediately. I felt tired, I wanted to sleep. There were three nurses just trying to clean up the blood as it was coming. The whole room was a panic.
The first thing I said to anyone was ”This isn't good is it?" i asked someone.
"No, not really"
The trauma ER doctor came in and I could tell he had never seen this before. He opened the curtain and said "Oh my goodness! What happened?"
"She had a normal c section last week and started hemoraging at home" one nurse said.
"How much has she lost?"
"We don't know"
"Can you tell me how much you think you lost?"
"Maybe a pint or two?"
He had no clue what to do. After all, this was a postpartum issue. Hemorrhages usually happen right after birth in the hospital. Delayed postpartum hemorrhagse happen in 2% of all live births. Its so incredibly rare that my doctor has only seen it once in her 30 years as an OB. And it didn't end well. Great... He gave me an exam and tried to get the bleeding to stop but he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. He was at a loss and after 20 minuets he wanted to transfer me to the ICU for blood transfusions until they could get it to stop. He literally did’t know what to do. He said “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help you other than give you blood right now”
They asked who my delivering Doctor was(who happened to be located in an office building across the street from the hospital) and they gave her office a call. Shortly after, my doctor arrived. She literally ran from her office to the hospital. I will never be so grateful that she got there in time...and that she cared enough to run her ass there!
She had them take me to an OR room. My husband just arrived. He stood next to me on the bed. Due to the graphic nature of the next part, Im going to leave the details out. The procedure she had to preform on me to get the bleeding to stop was the most tramatic and utterly painful experience of my life. No one should be awake for that. The torture continued for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't even believe the screams that were coming out of me. She managed to get the bleeding to stop and shooed everyone but a couple nurses away. I laid there on the table, naked, covered in blood and trembling. her and Ron both held me tight and said "its over, your okay, its over now."
"Im going to send you back to postpartum, you can nurse your baby there and we will monitor you overnight". The bleeding had in fact stopped and we felt we could breath. Me and my husband hugged and cried once we got to our room. So scary to almost loose each other and it makes you realize just how precious life is. It can end so suddenly. I nursed our baby as they were getting ready to give me a transfusion to replace the large amount of blood lost. The nurses were checking my iv's and all of a sudden
"I don't feel so good..." and just like that I was out. All the trauma was catching up to me. I continued to go in and out of consciousness. I awoke to ron slapping my face and a nurse waving some smelly stick under my nose. "Jessica, Jessica...can you hear me?"... It was hard to come back around. I was so tired. I felt like giving in… like I knew i was dying and accepted it. I just couldn't keep my eyes open. The rapid response team came and filled up yet another one of my rooms. They kept telling me to stay with them. Staying awake was nearly impossible. But at that point they got the transfusion going pretty quick. Ron sat by my side, with our new baby, the whole night. When I woke up in the morning my transfusions had almost finished and I felt I had been brought back to life somewhat. Still weak but alive. My husband was there, my baby was there and I was going to make it.
We are so so blessed. I can't believe Im here to day to tell you this story. I was so close my friends… My doctor told me had we gotten there 30 mins later, this would have ended very differently. There is not a day that goes by that I don't relive these moments over and over in my mind. Hopefully over time I will heal and the wounds won't be so deep and exposed. That day I lost over 60% of my blood. I want to thank anyone who has ever donated blood! It saved my life and I will always be eternally grateful to whoever’s blood was in my transfusion bags!
When we were trying to find a name for this miracle Rainbow baby of ours we wanted something that had meaning. We looked up names that meant "warrior", we came across the name Koa and that was it. Rainbow baby had a name. His name now means more to me because of our experiences. He is a warrior for being the 1 in 12 embryos that made it. For making it to term... but not just him. Me too. I was a warrior for fighting hard to have him and never giving up. I was a warrior for surviving something that a majority of the time kills. My family are warriors for supporting us and making it through to the other side with us. It takes a village. It really does.
This journey has been so so tough. Filled with pain, heartbreak, uncertainty but also hope, joy and happiness. This experience had been my biggest life lesson. Koa was so worth it, in every way possible. I went through hell and back for him and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The love I feel for my children is overwhelming. I am so very grateful to God for finally giving us our blessing. We know it was hard to let him go from Heaven. He is truly a special spirit. Living our days in blissful baby land soaking up every moment with baby Koa and feeling grateful in his presence. I really feel that this whole experience was God's plan all along. Maybe to prepare me for his firecracker spirit...Im not sure. But Im glad it was my journey...because it led me to my beautiful rainbow baby who brings our family so much joy!
The past 5 years I have hated my body for not doing what I wanted it to do. I felt it had failed me. I have had to really accept and appreciate my body for all it has given and been through. It has given life and taken it too. But the lives I have created outweigh any pain I had with the ones lost no matter how much that hurt…. and my story doesn’t end here!
When I was 8 months postpartum with Koa, I started feeling a little sick. I didn’t think I could possibly be pregnant but took a test anyways….and to my surprise….
It was positive! After 5 years battling infertility, its really is a miracle!!!! As I write this, Im currently 17 weeks pregnant with….wait for it….a BABY GIRL!!! She’s healthy and perfect so far! Cant you believe it!??? I still can’t. I feel this wild strong spirit growing inside me is the last missing piece to our family puzzle and I feel almost complete just with her in my belly. I now see that Koa had to come first to pave the way for his new little sister. I feel her and Koa are connected somehow and they were meant to be close in age. Two under 2 is gonna be one wild ride!
For my infertility sisters still in the fight, don't give up! Please, please, please...don’t give up! Being a mother is such a joy, such a blessing. Not everyone can have biological children but whichever way you create a family, whether it be adoption, foster, surrogacy, fur babies, etc. It doesn’t matter. Giving another life love and care is what makes a mother. Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about. That’s the best advice I can give to anyone in the infertility fight.
Im so thankful to my husband for always being there for me. For being my rock and keeping me going when I thought I couldn’t. For picking up the slack at LD while I took time off. My family for loving us unconditionally and emotionally being our safe home. To my friends who lifted me up and help me find humor in even the most heartbreaking times. To my Halen, for being the best big brother there ever was! To Koa for choosing me to be his mother…and to God for being so good and giving me exactly what I need when it is needed. I know he gave me this path for a reason. I am also so very thankful for my Lux Divine community of badass babes! Without you, I wouldn’t have this business to support my littles and my family. Working from home and being with my children has always been my dream and you allow me to do that. You are amazing & we love you!
Thanks for taking the time to read my story. It wasn’t an easy one to tell but I feel putting this out in the Universe will help me to heal and let go. I would love to hear your birth experience, story, fertility struggles in the comments. xo
Happy Birthday baby Koa! We love you more than you will ever know!
Today is the very last day to order for Christmas delivery...but don't know what to get that special someone? Not to worry...we are here to help!
Well, we obviously have the ladies covered as far as possible gifts go! We just started branching out with more men's items so our site can be a one stop shop! How awesome are these Turquoise cuff links & money clips?!
If you still don't know what to get... take it from our customers with these best sellers! Our amazing customers know whats up!!
We deeply thank everyone who shopped with us this holiday season! By shopping with us you are supporting my dream of working from home while caring for my children! Thank you for making my dreams a reality!!! We love you all:) Happy Shopping!
People are often surprised at the lack of jewelry I wear...honestly, I don't have one piece of jewelry on right now! Since I work with my hands most of the day, I have found rings just weigh me down and get in my way. I won't wear necklaces unless I can wear them everyday comfortably. I prefer dainty over bulky for the everyday wear. So... I came up with a collection that I would wear everyday! These pieces are so delicate and dainty. The rose gold is so flattering on any skin tone unlike Gold and Silver. Silver completely washes me out(which is why you may notice not muh of it is in my shop!) Some people just look better in certain metals...but rose gold, she looks good on everyone! So here she is...in all her Rose Gold glory...the Rosé Collection
Chokers are once again a trend and we approve!... and we've got you covered!
Shop our latest styles
Our 2016 Fall Collection is here! I decided to get into the Halloween spirit by creating a witchy theme for this batch of jewels. Our lookbook radiates the feeling I was going for. Modeled by the always stunning Jamie Kidd and produced by some amazing artists. It was fun seeing my collection come to life at the shoot. We hope you love these photos as much as we do!
One of the main designs in this release is our Gold Melt cuffs. After a few hours online, we sold out of all of them! You guys are so amazing! We are so beyond grateful for all your support...really:) Ive gotten a lot of requests to make more of these and have taken this into consideration. I may make another huge batch for the holidays but will be sure to make each one different and unique. Im thinking in silver?
I thought it was about time we started sharing more about ourselves and who we are. My husband and I run this little brand together. My family is very much involved in the daily life of working on our business...even our kids! We run Lux Divine out of our home which allows me to not leave my littles(Halen age 8 & Koa 9 months). We had a workshop out of our home a couple years ago but I could never force myself to go to "work". About a year ago on our blog we shared that we were building our dream home. We loved our small ranch home we were living in but we needed a ton of more room if we were going to continue to have LD in our home. We searched high and low for the perfect home that would allow us to separate our business areas from our living areas.... we had no luck so we decided to build one ourselves. Building your own home is no joke and we did it all while I was pregnant! It was such a long road and there were times we were fed up...but its finally done!!! And I of course, had to share it all right here!
We bought our home from a builder...meaning we chose our lot and home design and made all the decisions along the way. They delivered a finished home with carpet and finishings we were not into. We could have had them add the finishing materials we wanted but it would have been twice as much in price than if we did it ourselves...so thats what we did. On day one we started ripping up the terrible carpet and white tile throughout the home. We reused the carpet in one of our apartment buildings, our other business, and tried as best we could to not waste any of the materials. We found the most amazing weathered reclaimed wood as our flooring. It has the most amazing knots and bowties within the wood that make me feel like Im living on a pirate ship.
With the architecture of our home, we knew we needed to design our home with a spanish style flare... This staircase really inspired me...we took the plunge and ripped out the wooden railings. I was glad it wasn't wasted either, we donated it to the amazing iron worker who built our new railing. He was able to reuse it for another project. win win!
Watching the staircase being built in my home was such a crazy process to watch. I was surprised at how dangerous it was to install. Thankfully no one was hurt in the making of this staircase:) It has become my favorite part of our home and I never mind walking up them...
We also decided to be bold in our front entry way. Instead of just continuing the wood into that area, we found an incredible Moroccan cement tile that made that space pop. I know its a bit crazy for most, but Im obsessed!
We are so thrilled with how those two spaces turned out. Even though this process was LONG, dusty and sometimes tiresome...we overall loved designing our home and have been discussing selling this one and doing it all over again! We are a bit crazy... Buying and fixing up properties is something we enjoy to do together. LD isn't our only business:) But for now, we are all happy as can be in our new home with our new baby...Thats all the time Ive got today to share our dream home...Ill share more bits of our love nest soon...including my studio & workshop!
One of the main gemstones we work with is Turquoise. Some of our best selling designs feature the beautiful gem that Turquoise is. It is said that Turquoise is a most efficient healer, providing solace for the spirit and well-being for the body. It benefits the overall mood and emotion by balancing and inducing a sense of serenity and peace. Holding or wearing Turquoise helps restore depleted vitality and lifts sagging spirits. It relieves stress and brings focus back to the center heart. It is empathetic and balancing, helping one to recognize the causes of happiness and unhappiness, and to master them.
As a stone of purification, Turquoise dispels negative energy and clears electromagnetic smog from the environment. It promotes self-realization and aids in creative problem-solving, thus calming the nerves when speaking in public. It helps stabilize mood swings, and dissolves a martyred attitude of self-sabotage. It is also empowering if you feel bullied or suffer prejudice. Because it soothes the mind, Turquoise is good for jet lag and fears of flying.
Turquoise is perhaps the oldest stone in man’s history, the talisman of kings, shamans, and warriors. It is a stone of protection, strong and opaque, yet soothing to the touch, healing to the eye, as if carved from an azure heaven and slipped to earth. Its unique shade of blue, often blue-green, lends it name, Turquoise, to all things of this tranquil hue. The delicate veining or mottled webbing in cream or brown is inherent to the stone and serves to enhance its character.
The name Turquoise is derived from the French, pierre turquoise, meaning “Turkish stone,” because the trade routes that brought Turquoise to Europe from the mines in central Asia went through Turkey, and Venetian merchants often purchased the stone in Turkish bazaars.
For thousands of years, Turquoise has spanned all cultures, prized as a symbol of wisdom, nobility and the power of immortality. Among the Ancient Egyptians, Persians and Chinese, Aztecs and Incas of South America, and Native North Americans, Turquoise was sacred in its adornment and for power, luck, and protection.
For nearly a thousand years, Native Americans have mined and fashioned Turquoise, using it to guard their burial sites. Their gems have been found from Argentina to New Mexico. Indian priests wore it in ceremonies when calling upon the great spirit of the sky. Many honored Turquoise as the universal stone, believing their minds would become one with the universe when wearing it. Because of its ability to change colors, it was used in prophesy or divining. To the prehistoric Indian, Turquoise, worn on the body or used in ceremonies always signified the god of the sky alive in the earth.
For centuries Turquoise has been recognized as possessing the power to protect riders from injury due to falls. First used as amulets by Turkish soldiers, on their persons and attached to their bridles and trappings, it later came to be used for protection against falls of any kind. Turquoise is also reputed to be influenced by the physical condition of the person who wears it. It is thought to grow pale when its owner is sick or sad, lose all color when the person dies, and gradually recover its color when transferred to a new healthy owner, its color deepening each day.
Historically, Turquoise is credited with the property of securing friendly regard, verifying the traditional saying that “he, or she, who owns a Turquoise will never want for a friend.” In the Orient, a Turquoise ring was worn as a protector against all things evil. The proverb states: “Given by a loving hand it brings with it happiness and good fortune.” However, the ring emitted protective energy only if the stone was given by a friend. It was believed to restore clear vision to the mind when the thinking became muddled and thus ensured good fortune.
Turquoise is found in only a few places on earth: dry and barren regions where acidic, copper-rich groundwater seeps downward and reacts with minerals that contain phosphorus and aluminum. The result of this sedimentary process is a porous, semitranslucent to opaque compound of hydrated copper and aluminum phosphate. Turquoise deposits usually form in iron-rich limonite or sandstone. Limonite creates dark brown markings in turquoise, while sandstone creates tan markings. These markings are remnants of the host rock within the turquoise, and can resemble splotches or veins called matrix.
We hope you learned a little something on Turquoise. It is such an interesting gemstone and Its one of our favorites!
Shop our Turquoise jewelry here:
References: [Hall, 305], [Simmons, 420], [Gienger, 89] , [Eason, 239], [Eason, 41-42], [Eason, 239], [Mella, 111] , [Fernie, 37], [Kunz, 111]
As Summer comes to an end, I wanted to sneak in the perfect Summer recipe on the blog before it was too late! You will be thanking me after you make this...I promise! This is the best lemon pasta you have ever had. Its so light(for a pasta) & the lemon adds a nice freshness making it a Summer favorite. I personally think it's great year round but we tend to have this more in the Summer months. I must confess that I am NOT a pasta person. Other than something light like a checca angel hair, most dishes feel so heavy to me. I always regret it...so I try to stay away as much as I can. It's not even the pasta dough itself...its always cooked in so much oils and fat which is why I hate it. That being said, this is the only one I will eat which means it can't be heavy. It can be made as a vegetarian dish like this recipe or exclude the parmesan to make it vegan. Sorry, not raw folks...however I suppose could probably pull this off with zucchini noodles.
My mom makes this at most family gatherings...which is often. She recently made it for my first son's birthday party and all the moms asked for the recipe...I didn't even need to write it down. Its only 6 ingredients and just that easy. I don't use measurements but I will include them.
1 lb thin spaghetti
3 lemons- juiced 1/2 cup, 1-2 tbsp lemon zest
1/2- 1 cup fresh basil
spices: salt & pepper
2/3 cup olive oil
parmesan- grated & thinly shaved (optional) 1/2 cup grated, 1/2 cup shaved
It takes me about 15-20 mins to make this start to finish. Pretty quick huh?
Here's how it goes:
1. Boil water, add a few pinches of salt and add spaghetti noodles. cook for 12-15 mins or until tender. strain & save 1/2 cup of the cooking water
While your spaghetti is cooking...
2. grate one lemon, juice all 3 lemons and wisk them together with olive oil & grated parmesan
3. Once you have your noodles ready, the 1/2 cup of cooking water & lemon mixture, add the liquids to the pasta slowly while stiring. You may have too much liquid so go slowly and stop when you have moist noodles with an obvious coating but not so much that it pools at the bottom of the bowl. You do not want them soggy.
4. finely chop fresh basil...you can't have too much! mix into pasta
5. Add salt and pepper to taste
That's it! It can be eaten right away hot, room temperature or cold. Its all good...mmmm
I hope you try this yumminess and let me know how it goes!
Its almost here!!! The launch of our Fall 2016 collection, The Revival, is tomorrow! Here is a small preview of what will be available online tomorrow 8pm PST. Once an item has sold, thats it! None of these designs will be remade...making each piece special and unique.
Hey friends!! Its been so long since we have last checked in here...so much is going on, and I am excited to share all the secret things Ive been working on! One thing that has us pretty stoked is our recent collab with Free People. This includes exclusive designs such as feather arm bands & ear cuffs. Some of our best selling originals are also available on the Free People website...our Born to be Wild feather ear cuff even made it onto the cover of the April 2016 catalog!
I love the simplicity and elegance of the exclusive Shoot To The Moon ear cuff. And its so comfortable, you'll forget your wearing it! The celestial vibe and feel of this piece is sure to have you loving it to the moon(and hopefully back too).
Shop the Shoot To The Moon ear cuff HERE
Another fun piece we designed for Free People is the Feather in the Wind feather arm band. We created a matching arm band to pair up with our existing feather ear cuffs. These are only available at Free People HERE
Shop the Feather in the Wind arm band HERE
Free People is also carrying some other classic Lux Divine designs like our Born to be Wild feather ear cuffs & gemstone armbands.
Shop all Lux Divine x Free People HERE
Hey there! Remember us?... I know, I know...where the heck have we been?! We have been a little M.I.A. lately...and for good reason. Firstly, we are all packed up and ready for our big move to the new house we have been building this past year. Working and creating new items while a majority of your workshop is packed up is pretty impossible. Second, if you follow us on social media you might have heard we are expecting...a baby boy! He is due in December and we are beyond elated and thankful. We have been trying for baby number #2 going on 5 years now and were finally blessed after being diagnosed with secondary infertility( yes, thats really a thing). As blessed as I feel, this pregnancy has been a tough one. Mostly due to me not being able to carry a pregnancy without the use of hormones that just left me feeling ill constantly. The first 3 months I had the most terrible morning sickness I couldn't even keep water down and leaving my bed was a huge task. Thank God for my amazing husband and son who really pulled through and picked up the slack. Now I am thankfully feeling somewhat functional but we felt it was best for me to stay away from jewelry manufacturing daily. I use a lot of resins, polishing compounds..even just filing metals are dangerous to inhale. Wearing a mask just isn't enough when your creating a precious life. So for now, our jewelry is somewhat on hold and our clothing line has all our attention...
Our Fall collection is ready and here and we couldn't be more happy with how everything turned out. We are still working with a small clothing factory in downtown Los Angeles that specializes in small production, prefect for us! Everything they make is top notch quality and I really feel good about creating locally and not producing overseas. It would be WAY cheaper to do it that way but not environmentally conscious. I feel blessed to know the exact people who make our designs and that they are happy, paid well and work in a safe work environment. Im sure companies who produce in China could not say that much. L.A. made is very much who we are and proud to make products in the USA. There is currently a big problem with mass produced electroformed jewelry being made in China and sold here in the states for dirt cheap...but don't even get me started on that issue. All I can say is when you purchase from us, rest assured knowing all your Lux Divine creations are made ethically here on U.S. soil in Los Angeles with love and care...and by people who love their jobs! whoohooo:)
So here is the first piece I introduce to you from our 2015 Fall Clothing Collection. I really thought long and hard on this collection. What would I want to be a staple in my wardrobe? What did I really need?... the first thing that came to mind was a really good caftan. I have an obsession with caftans... I compulsively collect them( its a problem) and while I really love all the ones I own, I would always want to tweak them to make them the perfect caftan. So instead of pulling out my sewing machine and making any more alterations to my dresses...I had a light bulb moment and decided we should just make one. The perfect caftan, that looks good on anyone and feels amazing to wear in cool prints. I don't know about you but I have days where I just feel blah, especially being hormonal and pregnant. Throwing on an easy outfit that gives you effortless style and makes you look amazing no matter how shitty your feeling is essential in my opinion for any woman's wardrobe. We all have those days we need a little help. I feel like this caftan is that help ladies! ...and Im beyond excited about it. The fabric we used is stretchy, silky and cool to the touch. This amazing dress is ready for a night out, an event or just a cover up for the beach. Whatever you need... the Calliope Caftan is your girl!
This incredibly flowy caftan comes in 2 solid colors, white and coral and two Lux Divine exclusive prints. One is a cool spanish style scroll print and the other is a cool blue paisley print. We use these prints with our bells too! Well, we hope you love them as much as we do. Keep an eye out, we will be releasing new designs and styles each week:) Visit the clothing section in our online shop to purchase these dresses. We only made small quantities! Thank you ever so much for your ongoing support. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful we are to each and every one of our customers and supporters!! Muah!
Its officially festival season y'all!!! Time for funky threads! To kick off the festival season we put together a few outfits that we dig with our new Embroidery Lace tops. They are so bright and colorful! We had a little too much fun styling them up. All swing tops & crop tops are now available in our clothing section of our shop:
The past year has been a whirlwind of progress, growth and many changes. We are so grateful to have many of the opportunities that God has presented before us... one being our future change of scenery. For over a year now we have been working on a house move. We spent a good part of that year figuring out exactly where we wanted to go. We would absolutely love to pick up and move somewhere new and exotic. But its just not realistic for us at this time...one day! We knew we couldn't leave our family just yet as our son really needs to be surrounded by loved ones growing up. Family is really important to us and know it is in his best interest to have that around consistently. We also have the base of our business here with our platers & clothing factory conveniently nearby. The husband is still working in the movie industry on and off which is here in LA too. So stay we must with our roots planted pretty firm.... the nomad in me is stomping her feet!
I love change, I love moving and starting with a clean slate. We yearn to be surrounded by nature and live a more secluded existence. So with this decision to stay close we decided on a small little local mountain with bluffs and a gorgeous view of rolling hills. Its perfect! There will be hiking trails right outside my front door and views for miles. Its so quiet and the air is clean and fresh. We still won't be as secluded as I would like to be but its an upgrade non the less. We are really only moving about 6-10 miles away but the change will be a huge one. It has been so exciting because we are not only moving but building our new home from the ground up! Every weekend we visit to see the progress. It really amazing and a fun process to be able to watch. We finally have walls!!! Its been so fun to be able to pick out flooring, tile & the overall vibe of our new home. So naturally this has me completely obsessing over interior decor. I really want to incorporate natural elements like gemstones & woods. Here are some of the amazing things I stumbled across!
That chandelier though!!! As much as having an awesome Amethyst table or sink would be, we decided on sticking with a natural clean look with whites, creams & woods. These have been my main inspirations.
How dreamy are all those homes??? After much debate we decided on dark hardwood floors inside, terra-cotta outside with white walls & white furniture while incorporating unique wood pieces. We already own a ton of antique wood finds that we have accumulated over the past 7 years. I am really digging primitive wood furniture at the moment and hoping I can find some cool items on the cheap. I wish I could carve out some time to craft some new wall hangings & decor to have ready before we move but with keeping up with LuxDivine, packing & getting our home ready to sell its been near impossible. I have some ideas and will be posting some DIY projects soon! Im pretty excited about that so stay tuned:) We are on track to be able to move sometime during the summer and can't wait to post photos of our new dwelling! xo
Oh yeah... I really want to add this bookshelf in my new home... anyone know where I can find one?!! lol... too funny
All pics via pinterest
<<<Some of our new Druzy & Agate Slice Rings>>>
Aside from designing and making our jewelry, styling is my favorite job here at LD with photography as a close second. Most of our jewelry is made to be versatile additions to our customer's wardrobes. Wear only one piece for a simple, polished look or layer them together for some added funkiness! Either way, we know you will look amazing. When designing our creations, I keep in mind the everyday bohemian woman who wears unique special pieces to reflect her personality & mood. For this reason, our shop is filled with small & simple necklaces & rings as well as bold headbands & statement pieces. Our hope is to have something special for everyone...
Here are some of our recent styled photos and the pieces used to create each amazing look!
<<<BLACK MAGIC WOMAN>>>
Black Calypso Dress - Coming Soon!